Thursday, November 29, 2007

day +100!

Yes, today is day +100 since my non-myeloablative allogeneic stem cell transplant at Sloan-Kettering. Though this day should be complete with celebration, it is tinged with a bit of sadness and reservation as the wake for my grandmother is today.

After reflecting on what this day +100 means and the hope that it inspires, I'm thankful for the generosity of my donor who made this all possible and the loving support of my family, friends, and so many strangers who have encouraged and followed me step-by-step as I've made it to this point. Though I'm hopeful about the future, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't concerned as well because whether we're aware of it or not both hope and fear are complimentary emotions just as life and death couldn't exist without the other. They are both linked intricately. Indeed, one is defined by the other.

On this day, I feel like I have for sometime and that is like a man balancing himself on a tightrope between hope and fear. But I'm hopeful, looking forward, doing the things that I enjoy, and trying to be patient amidst the uncertainty. With each passing day free of cancer, I feel that I'm one step closer to where I hope to be.

And speaking of intricate relationships, look no future than that between our planet and our sister planet, Venus. The following article reminds me of Venus Revealed: A New Look Below the Clouds of Our Mysterious Twin Planet by David Grinspoon, which has been on my book list for sometime.

New Findings Underscore an Earth-Venus Kinship

Lighting Detected on "Evil Twin" Venus

7 Comments:

Comment Blogger Michelle J said...

DAY +100!!! All i can say is YES, YES, YES, Duane dear YOU ROCK!!!

8:27 PM  
Comment Blogger Christine said...

What a day for you and your family Duane....Well said, regarding the interconnectedness (seems like a long word:-) of some opposing emotions...sadness for your grandmother's life ending; and joy for all the life and health in yours....for that we are all grateful, but very sorry for the loss of your grandmother....

10:47 PM  
Comment Blogger Kelly Kane said...

Yay, congrats!! You've reached the finish line :) I'm very sorry about your grandmother, but I really think it's great that she got to see you reach the finish line... and you got to see her one last time, on such a momentous day!

XO

6:26 PM  
Comment Blogger Duane said...

Day +100! Hell yeah!!!

9:58 PM  
Comment Anonymous Anonymous said...

Congrats - you are succeeding. Condolences for your grandmother. May God keep your soul in peace as you reflect on His goodness to you.
Helen

10:54 AM  
Comment Anonymous Anonymous said...

Condolences to you Duane. I think we talked of this last week when you called, but I was catching up on your site and wanted to remark about how astute and thoughtful your observations are about hope and fear. You are an inspiration, of course, and a real "Prizefighter."

Pop

10:47 AM  
Comment Anonymous Anonymous said...

Duane. Wasn't sure if you knew of this site or used it but if not it may interest you. And thanks for your tip on Google Earth.

http://stardate.org/

Pop

11:04 AM  

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