Thursday, August 10, 2006

my spleen

When I returned home from work this evening, there was a message on my answering machine from Schuster's secretary, Delores, asking me to call the office back promptly because Schuster wanted to talk to me about an urgent issue. Urgent issue I wondered? There was only one possible explanation that I could ponder and I assumed it had to relate to the PET-CT scan that I took yesterday morning at the hospital. Well, my hunch was right. Schuster explained to me that the PET-CT scan looked very good - the mediastinum (the area of the tumor site) was clear - except for my spleen. He couldn't or didn't say specifically what about the imaging of my spleen made him call me, but the bottom line was that I needed to have a second scan. This time a CAT scan. A CAT scan, he said, would reveal more clearly what was going on with my spleen. He did tell me, however, that there was nothing to be worried about but honestly, how could I not be but a little concerned. I can see where my fears and insecurity can get the best of me. This is exactly what I as alluding to in yesterday's post when I shared my worries about premature celebration on the transplant cruise. Of course, at the moment I know nothing. I just know that the PET-CT scan showed something that made Schuster want to reexamine my spleen. That's it. That's all I know. Any more than that is pure speculation, so I shouldn't start worrying myself about something that I don't have a full understanding of yet. But I'll admit that it's not easy getting the fear and uncertainty about this entire situation out of my head. I tried playing video games, but it kept my mind occupied for only a while. I have eaten a little more than I should have trying to find satisfaction in eating but the benefits are merely temporary. Right now, I'm thinking about watching a film after I complete this post to help soothe the unease, but maybe what I need best is just rest. Maybe I should just call it a night.

There's just so much going on right now on so many different fronts: from my precariousness of my health to the preparation for my parents' surprise anniversary/birthday luncheon on Saturday to the demands of my summer job to the pressing need for me to get ready for graduate school in September. Before Schuster's call, I was thinking about stopping work a week earlier than originally planned because of my growing concern that I needed a little more down time before I left for Chicago. But now, all seems in the air going in every which way.

As scheduled, I'm supposed to see him on Monday. After my appointment, I'll go for the CAT scan. I hope he will receive the results of the CAT scan just as quickly as he received the results this time around.


Comment Blogger Aeschulus said...

Yo dude -- stick with it -- let us know how it all turned out :-) We're pullin' for ya, kid!


2:56 PM  
Comment Blogger Duane said...

Thanks Big D. I really appreciate it! Hey, you think you can help me fix my blog so it looks better with IE?

3:56 PM  
Comment Blogger Ender said...

I hope everything goes well. I always had a difficult time trying to relax while waiting for the results from my scans.

10:34 PM  
Comment Blogger Duane said...

Thanks Ender. The scan went well. I just hope the results aren't too scary.

12:12 AM  

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